I Have A Problem
by Witch Girl Tsuki
Summary: Kid's in love with Black Star which is a problem since as a shinigami he's strong enough to handle anything...except feelings. BlackStarXDeath The Kid OC are include, but NO OC X accual character, just there to add comedy
1. I'm In Love? !

Disclaimer: I DO NOT own Soul Eater…If I did this fic. would be a reality XD

POV: Death The Kid

I'm starring again. No matter how hard I try I can't look away. What is it that draws my eyes to him? There are so many things. The way he gives that lop sided smile like an idiot on crack, that horrific, unsymmetrical blue hair, and of course his signature, that star on only ONE arm. So disgusting! He disgusts me to no end! He's so unsymmetrical it drives me crazy!!! So why? Why is it that I can't get him out of my mind? This has been going on for months now! I need advice. Who to ask? Liz or Patti wouldn't do me any good. Maka? She's pretty smart. But then again, she's also very naïve to not notice that more than half the time Soul's drooling is not because he's thinking about food, but because he's thinking about her doing unmentionable things. Tsubaki doesn't seem like she could be much of an assistance even though she does know Black Star the best out of all of us. And father is just going to sit me down and try to give me "The Talk." I KNOW!! It's been awhile since I've talked to her. An old friend from when I was quite small. I think father said she was coming to visit. Perhaps she can help. She is quite wise, though she doesn't act it. I bet she could help.

I get home and Liz is waiting at the door. She had stayed home from school in order to clean the house since I asked her to. "Kid," she explained, "Some visitors came. A strange girl and identical twin boys who claim they know you. They said they'd be staying here for awhile and are currently waiting up stairs." Perfect timing. Just the girl I wanted to see. "Alright, I'll go talk to them. Please stay here." I tell her and Patti, and head up stairs. I walk to the guest room, knock on the door and slowly open the door just a crack. I see a figure in the chair facing the window. At least she hasn't taken away the symmetry of the room yet…YET. "Enter!!" I hear her shout, and slowly walk in. "Good to see you again. Been awhile." I state somewhat nervous. "I'm glad you're here. I was actually hoping you could help me with something." There's silence. Not a sound is made. Then suddenly the chair turns to face me, and there she is. The purple tips shimmering in her blond emo cut bangs that cover ONLY her left eye. Sickening. The rest of her long, flowing hair is up in a high pony tail, and on her lap sits one of the boys with short brown hair and big blue eyes that are identical to hers, only not as cold. She sat there petting the boys head as he smiled and enjoyed the praise like an idiot; well…he is an idiot so I guess that suits him. "You come to me asking for my help, but what will _I_ get in return?" G-d…What is with her and quoting movies. It's such an idiotic and childish thing to do. "Tsukiko," I start, "I'm letting you stay in my house." "And?" She says sternly.

"I'm letting you eat my food."

"And?"

"I'm letting you stay in this room and re-decorate it however you want without having to keep it symmetrical. Surely you know me well enough to know how hard that is for me!"

"Aaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnddd????"

I let out a long sigh. "Fine." I can't believe I'm about to say this. "I'll pay for all your yaoi this month." She shoots up out of her chair at my words; sending the boy flying off her lap and onto the floor. "SERIOUSLY!?" She asks in an exited tone. "I was just going to ask for never ending sushi while I was here but hell that's even better!!!!" Good grief. Why did I offer that? Oh well, at least she's willing to help. "Hey Tsuki-Chan," The boy the was tossed on the floor stated in pain as the other boy who was leaning on the wall silently the whole time made his way over there and helped him up. "What's the big idea? Throwing me on the floor." "Oops…heheh…sorry Arron!" She replied sheepishly. Arron…which means the other one's Santos. It's impossible to tell them apart by looks unless you've known them your whole life like Tsukiko. "So," The con artist girl said, turning her attention back towards me and popping a piece of bubble gum in her mouth. "What do you need help with? Torture? Killing? Revenge? OO I have this AWESOME new fighting technique I've been meaning to try out." "NO!" I exclaim. "NONE OF THAT!!! I just need some advice."

She looks at me with confusion in her eyes as she sits back down in her chair and crosses her legs. "Advice about what?" She asks. Finally she's acting seriously. "Well," I begin, "There's this guy at school and…" "He's bullying you? 'Cuase if he is I have a good solution." She cut's me off with an evil tone. "NO!" Why is it so impossible to get through her thick skull? "He's…I…I just…can't seem to get him out of my head. He's so…badly dress…immature… UNSYMMETRICAL!! And yet….I can't stop starring at him during class. I can't stop thinking of him when he's not around. I don't understand what this feeling is. I've never had it before." Another awkward silence. She's smirking. She's smirking evilly. Why is she smirking? What is she thinking? The twins are smirking too. What's going on? "Tsukiko. What are you thinking?" I ask nervously. "Well Kid…The answer to your problem is simple." She replies. I'm scared about what the answer is, but still I have to know. "Arron, Santos, are you two thinking what I'm thinking?" She asks, turning to face them. "I believe we are." Arron states with a maniacal look on his face. "Yes, indeed." Santos agreed with an identical face. Where did a brainless boy like him learn a word like "indeed"? All three of them are smirking evilly. What is they're solution. Then they all turn to face me. Oh g-d. What are they thinking? I'm about to get my answer. They all take in a deep breath. Here it comes. The moment of truth. Come on…just say it…I have to know!!! "KIDDY'S IN LOVE!!!" They all shout mockingly. What did they just say? In love? I'm…in love?! Oh g-d. What does this mean? What am I suppose to do? How am I supposed to respond to this? "Kid?" Tsukiko says in a worried tone. "Are you alright? Kid?? BREATHE KID BREATHE!!!" Finally I sit on the bed. The expression on my face unchanged. I'm in shock. Finally I respond to them. I can't believe what I just heard. "I'm…in love? With Black Star!?!?!?" Oh dear g-d. This can NOT end well.

Author's note: Thanks for reading. I'll work on the next chapter soon. Please leave a review with your opinion and constructive criticism. BUT NO FLAMING!!! Thank you!! Oh, and I add Tsukiko and the twin s for a reason. They're funny, stupid, and also I couldn't decide on who Kid should ask for help. So I put in a few OCs as his old friends for him to turn to. But I promise they won't be marry sues. If you've ever an em-preg fan fiction about Sasori from Naruto called "The Perfect Nerd" then you'll see that Tsukiko is a lot like Inuko, who's on OC in that fan fiction then happens to have been written by my best friend. So please give Tsukiko a chance if you liked Inuko. And give her a chance anyway if you didn't or haven't read "The Perfect Nerd" yet. Thank You!! BYE-BE!!!! X3


	2. I Have To Ask Him Out? !

Disclaimer: I DO NOT own Soul Eater…So stay out of my face T.T'

POV: Death The Kid

In love. That is what Tsukiko just told me. That I'm in love. No way. There's no way I'm in love. Especially not with Black Star!! Right!? "Tsukiko…are you sure that's the ONLY explanation!!??" I ask hopefully. She looks at me with that dastardly smirk of hers. "Yup, there's nothing else that the symptoms you've mentioned could be." She states confidently. "Lucky for you I'm a MASTER at this kind of stuff!" Jeez. I think she's acting like Black Star more than _BLACK STAR_ does; stating so boldly that she's better than anyone else at this subject. Pathetic. However, she _does_ most likely know more about this then I do. "Is there a way to get rid of it!?" I ask already knowing the answer. "NOPE! Once you're in love you're stuck! Until you grow old together, get married, have kids, relies what a pain in the ass love is, and discover that you're eternally damned and fucked for life!" She says this as if it were a _good_ thing! "However," there's more? "Sometimes, on a rare occasion, love turns out to be a romantic relationship between two lovers that truly care about each other. Maybe you'll end up with that kind of love."

I doubt it. I'm having trouble believing that I could love Black Star. There's no way in hell that Black Star could love me. "Tsukiko, please, there must be a solution." I plead. "There is," Finally! A response I actually wanted to hear! "You have to ask him out!" And it goes down the drain. "ASK HIM OUT!? AS IN ASK HIM ON A DATE!?!? NO WAY!! I CAN'T DO THAT!" I cry. "You're gonna have to if ya wanna get over this. If he says yes, then you'll live happily ever after. And if he says no, well, you'll eventually get over it and that will be that. End of story." I let out another huge sigh of despair. "Even if I do agree to your absurd logic, Tsukiko, I don't even know how to ask someone out." This is hard for me to admit. Almost as hard as letting something in my house stay dirty, or worse, unsymmetrical. It is, however, true as anything could possibly be. I have no clue how to ask someone on a date. I can turn anything into a symmetrical master piece. I can bring down the rath of a disgusting pharaoh mummy. I can assist in defeating the Kishin. But I have to clue how to ask someone on a date. I'm so pathetic! "Well, that's easy." Tsukiko states with a grin. "It is?" I ask in return. "YUP!" She replies smiling cheerfully. "Just go up to him a say 'HEY! YOU WITH THE FUCKED UP HAIR! I LIKE YOU! IF YOU DON'T LIKE ME BACK, THEN FUCK YOU! BUT IF YOU DO! WELL THEN…FUCK ME!!" She states while pelvic thrusting the air as though to symbolize something unheard of. "TSUKIKO!!! THAT'S DISGUSTING!!!" I shout. "Well it worked for me with Katsu." She mentions. "And Noro, and Tatsuto, and Shuro, and Itsuyo, and…" "OKAY I GET IT YOU'VE HAD A LOT OF EXPERIENCE WITH VARIOUS DIFFERENT BOYS!!!" I cut her off getting annoyed with her.

Then sigh once more and get up off the bed, straighten out the sheets, and go to look out the window. "But I'm not you." I state in a depressed tone. "I can't do that, especially not to Black Star!" I hear her approach me. She places her hand on my shoulder and gives me a reassuring look. "Then ask him out your own way." She tells me. "Chances are he'll say yes." She smiles at me sweetly. "I promise you that it will work out no matter what. If he says yes, then you'll be happy together. And if he says no, we're all here to help you through it. Right twins?" "RIGHT!" Arron and Santos agree. It's amazing how silent they can be when neede-….no wait….they're holding each other….they were making out….them and they're twinsest…..It's disgusting when two members of the same family do that….but I guess you can't pick who you fall in love with….I sure as hell didn't get the luxury of choosing. So I guess I have no choice. I have to ask Black Star on a Date….wait….I HAVE TO ASK BLACK STAR ON A DATE!!?? OOOOHHH WHY ME!!!??? This is NOT going to go well for me.

Author's Note: SEE!!! I TOLD YOU TSUKIKO GETS BETTER!!! AIN'T SHE FUN XD!? WELL HOPE YOU LIKED IT!! Please leave reviews telling me what you thought. THANK YOU!! BYE-BE!! X3


	3. She Goes To Me School? !

Disclaimer: I DO NOT own Soul Eater….so stay off my case. T.T'

POV: Death The Kid

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The time has come. It's Thursday morning and almost time for school. My bed is neatly made, the candles are evenly melted, everything's in its place. Perfect. Now I'm off to Shibusen with Liz and Patti. Off to learn. Off to take mission assignments from my honorable father. But most importantly, off to see that immature, unsymmetrical brainless dope who I just recently found out has stolen my heart. Black Star. That stupid, unsymmetrical assassin who's probably is too dimwitted to even know what the word 'assassin' even means. But something's missing. Aren't Tsukiko and the twins here? If they were, Tsukiko would be blasting that offal hip-hop-punk-rock trash she calls music so loud that people over fifty miles away would go deaf. If Arron and Santos were here I'd be able to hear them doing…things…from half way down the hall. Disgusting. I wonder why it's so quiet. I make my way over to Tsukiko's room. She's gone!! Where is she!? I open the twin's door. They're gone too!! Where on Earth could they have gone!? Alright. I have to calm down. They probably just woke up early and went to 'Deathbucks'. Yeah. That's probably it. "Kid!" I hear the familiar voice of my tall, brown haired partner shout from down stairs. "We're heading out, come on!" "Coming!" I shout back. I take a deep breath. Okay. Here we go. Today after class I have to do it. I have to ask Black Star on a date. Or maybe I should do it tomorrow. Yeah. I'll go through today normally and ask him out tomorrow. That'll work. Tomorrow.

"Alright class," starts our screw headed, slightly psycho teacher. Now he's going to say 'Today we well be dissecting this poor, defenseless animal that's the last of its kind,' or something like that. "Today we have some new students." Or not. "Their names are Tsuyo and his partners Amy and Sandy." Huh…their names sound a lot like….Oh…My…G-d… There standing in the front of the class room is what seems to be a boy wearing jeans; a black hooded T; a thin white long sleeve underneath; and a backwards cap, with BLONDE hair, EMO CUT bangs over the LEFT eye, PURPLE TIPS in the bangs, and BLUE EYES. Standing on either side of this _boy_ is an identical twin girl wearing matching out fits of high healed, black, knee high boots; jean mini-skirts; black, strapless shirts that are most likely stuffed; and their long BROWN hair up in pigtails with their bright BLUE EYES shimmering. WHAT ARE THEY DOING!! IT'S OBVIOUS WHAT THEY DID!! The twins put extensions in their hair; cross dressed, and stuffed their bras. Tsukiko, who normally has something boyish on due to her tom-boy attitude, bandaged down her breasts and cleverly hid her hair in under that hat. Why!? Why did they do this!? "Tsuyo, Amy, Sandy, why don't you go take those three seats behind Kid." Oh g-d. "Sure thing teach." _Tsuyo_ stated as _he _and the twin _girls_ made their way over. Once they sat down class started. There's only one way to tell if my assumptions are true. The twins must transform into their weapon form.

Class is almost over. It went by so quickly. Maybe that's because I was too busy watching Black Star's every move, and listening to make sure my heart doesn't skip to many beats and put me in the hospital. "Alright class." Stein said cheerfully. "AS a treat let's have some volunteers to have a battle." Plenty of hands went up. "Okay, let's have…Maka and Soul…And Tsuyo, Amy, and Sandy." Perfect. Now I can confirm that I'm right. "Let's get one thing straight," Soul stated boldly once they were all at the front of the class, "We're not gonna go easy on ya just 'cuase you're new. I'm too cool for that." The wanna-be-cool guy turned into a scythe and landed in Maka's grasp. "Never said we wanted you to." The new guy said smoothly as the supposed girls jumped up and transformed. The boy held his hands above his head; crossed at the wrist. He gracefully caught his weapons and spun around in a three-sixty; landing in a pose where one of his samurai fans were behind his back, and the other was being used to cover his nose and mouth. Those fans. That pose. That settles it. Tsukiko and the twins are at my school!! Why!? WHY!?

The fight was over before to quickly to tell what happened. Or maybe I was just distracted by Black Star again. I did manage to see the ending. Maka had gotten Tsukiko by surprise by jumping over the twin fans when she tossed them, and landed right behind her, putting the scythe up to her neck and claiming victory. The fight ended right when the bell rang. I go over, grab Tsukiko and the twin morons, and pull them to the side. "What are you doing here!?" I ask sternly. "Aww…you saw through our disguises that easily?" Tsukiko asked in a disappointed tone. "YOU MORONS, ANSWER MY QUESTION!!" I said in a loud whisper. "We're simply making sure you and constantly say 'I'll do it tomorrow, I'll do it tomorrow, I'll do it tomorrow.' "She read me like an open book. "Tsukiko, I swear I _will_ do it tomorrow." She sighed and shook her head at my response. "Tomorrow maybe too late, Kid." She stated while starring me in the eye. "You've gotta go for your goal and get it before it gets out of your reach." Such smart words coming out off the same mouth that told me to ask for…a good time…before the first date. "Tsuki-Chan, can we go now?" The twins asked in unison. They obviously weren't paying attention at all. "These extensions are itchy!" Arron whined. "Yeah, and these heals are killing me!" Santos complained. Tsukiko looked at the door. I followed her gaze to see Tsubaki waiting at the door. "Come on Black Star." She called. "YAHOOOOO! TIME FOR THE GREAT ME TO ME TO TAKE MY LEAVE!" The one I love shouted, making his way towards the waiting weapon.

Then Tsukiko turned her attention back to me. "You have to go for it sometime, Kid. Better sooner than later. If you keep saying you'll do it tomorrow, then there may never be a tomorrow to rely on. You have to give up and follow your heart to the one you've fallen for. You have to do it, Kid, and you know I'm right." She gave me a look that quoted her last sentence, and made her way towards the door; snapping her figures to tell the twins to follow her. They obeyed the command like dogs. She was right. I know that. I've got to do this. I have to. It's the only way. I make my way over to the blue haired assassin quickly in order to catch up with him. "Black Star!" I called. He stops and turns as I stop in front of him and catch my breath. "I need to ask you something, in private." I say. I feel massive amounts of heat rise to my face as I look in his big, blue eyes that match his hair. He gives me a big smile, and I feel my heart pounding. I'm still starring at his eyes. His big, gorgeous eyes .One of the few things that is actually symmetrical about him. Am I really complementing his eyes? "If you want an autograph there's no need to be embarrassed! Who doesn't want the autograph of the great me!?" Black Star states proudly. "N-no," I stutter. "It's not about an autograph, Black Star. I…I wanted to…I was wondering if…" "KID-KUN!!!" I got cut off by my childish, blonde haired partner who hugged me from behind. "Come on, Come on, time to go home!" Damn it Patti! I was so close! "Come one Kid," Liz said passing us, "or we'll leave you behind." The two continued walking home towards home. "But…I..." I turn back to Black Star. "If it's not an autograph then what is it?" He asked me. "I…uh…" My heart's pounding to loud. I can't think. "I…never mind…I…I got to go. Bye." I run off, past Liz and Patti. Stupid! I'm so stupid and pathetic! I chickened out! I'm a stupid, pathetic coward! This has been hectic! First I find out I'm in love, with _Black Star_ of all people; then I'm told I have to ask him out on a date by my loon of a friend who apparently gives good advice, and now that loon of a friend and her two lackeys go to my school!? That means she'll find out what I just did and scold me for it at home _AND_ at school! But the worst part is, at school I now have to deal with Tsukiko acting like a boy, and gay, twin brothers in mini-skirts. OH WHY DOES THIS SORT OF THING ALWAYS HAPPEN TO ME!?

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Author's note: I know, this chapter wasn't that funny. But I liked making it and its pretty long, so I', proud of it. Review and let me know what you think. Thanks for reading. BYE-BE!!


	4. I Have To Learn To Dance? !

Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN SOUL EATER!! SO I WIN THIS ROUND COPY WROTE BRITISH PEOPLE!! YOU WON'T BE DELETING THIS STORY TOSAY!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA- (cough) (cough)

"Tsukiko, where, dare I ask, are we going?" I ask her as she drags me by the arm so hard I think it's gonna fall off. "Why, that's simple me naïve, OCD friend," she states as we approach a large house. "Tsukiko…this is _your_ house. Why did you take me to _YOUR_ house!?" I'm scared. What is this maniac planning to do to me?! "You chickened out, Kid," she says in a maniacal tone as she opens the door and brings me into the dark house. She leads me to a closed door and looks at me evilly. "Now," she states, "it's time for your punishment." She slams the door open and there, sitting at the piano, is a boy. Short blond hair with emo cut bangs over the right eye, and cold blue eyes that are identical to Tsukiko's. He sat there playing what sounded like a song Tsukiko showed me once. She said it was called "Soundless Voice" by Len Kagamine. "He's not as good as your friend with the cocky, 'I'm so cool and yet I'm a moron' attitude, but he'll due." She says smiling contently. Why am I here? Why is Tsukiko's twin brother, Teruki playing the piano and singing? What is this 'punishment'? "Tsukiko, what are you planning?" I ask nervously. She looks at me cheerfully. "Elementary, my dear Kid." There she goes again. So childish. She smiles. "I'm going to teach you…to dance!" She announces while striking a pose that looks like it came straight out of a drama about dancing.

"I can dance fine, Tsukiko!" I shout angrily. She frowns at me. "The cancan does not count as dancing no matter how symmetrical or perfectly a lined it is." She tells me. "I can do other dances to!" I reply.

"Like what?"

"…"

"Well?"

"…"

"What dances can you do?"

"…Caramelldancen" I mumble. There's an awkward silence. Teruki even stopped paying the piano and just stared at me. Then they both simultaneously burst out in laughter and fall on the floor. "WHAT!?" I ask, peeved at their reaction. "Dude!" Teruki says, grabbing onto the piano bench to pull himself up. "Caramelldancen is NOT dancing. And you doing that, the thought is TOO funny!"

I pout at them. How rude can they be!? He's just like his sister. Not that I expected any less. "Kid, with my help, you will be the best dancer there is!" Tsukiko explains. "You're going to learn all the dances. The waltz, the ball room dance, the tango, the salsa, and of course the three most important," I look at the scared. "Dare I ask what the three most important are?" She smiles and points up as to make a statement. "Hip-hop, pole dancing, and lap dancing!" My jaw drops. "Why are THOSE the three most important!?"

"Picture this, your dancing by yourself. He sees you from distance. Slowly, he approaches you as the music slows to a waltz. Together, you dance. The spot light as you and it's as if the only people in the room are you and him. The passion rises. Then the lean in. And the kiss. Then finally he takes you back to his apartment and that's where the fun begins!"

"Tsukiko, what do you mean by fun?"

"A time of passion and love filled with good times and enjoyable moments that the two of you experience for the first time!"

"Tsukiko, what are you talking about!?"

"Good times, Kid! Wonderful, joyous time spent in the same bed as the one you love! This is what you _NEED, _Kid!"

"Just what in it that you think I need!?"

"There's no time to waste! We have much to do and little time to do it! You will dance until you bleed from every part of your body in preparation for the good times that follow! Come, Kid! Let us begin!"

"WHAT!? WAIT!! TSUKIKO YOU'RE INSANE!! I'M NOT GOING TO…"

Too late. She dragged me off to my doom, and the torture began. What in g-ds name does she think I need!? She's lost it! No. She lost in a _long_ time ago. I have to learn to dance!? OH FOR THE LOVE OF G-D SOMEONE SAVE ME!!!!

Thanks for reading! Please review!


	5. I Got Drunk? !

Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN SOUL EATER!!!! If I did…you can bet your ass Tsukiko would be there to make everyone's lives worse!

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Where am i? I'm under water. I'm swimming under water…and yet…I can breathe. I look at me feet. What feet? I have a fin!! What is this, 'The Little Mermaid?!' I'm wearing hardly anything, just a bra maid of shells. Wow I feel stupid. Hey! What's that? There's a figure in the distance. It's strangely familiar and coming closer. It's…It's Black Star. He's a merman too, but he's not wearing a stupid shell bra. He's completely topless. Oh g-d that body. It's completely symmetrical, except for that star on his arm. However, I don't care. He approaches me and takes me in his muscular arms. His soft lips meet mine. He kisses me. I kiss him back. He starts to whisper my name. "Kid…..Kid…"

"KID!!!!" I shoot up and look around. I'm sitting on my bed with Tsukiko sitting with her legs hanging over the side; looking at me with a wide smile. "Why good morning he who the sun shines out of his ass!!" She happily announces. OW! What the hell!? My head! "Tsukiko," I begin to ask, holding my aching cranium, "what happened? Why does my head hurt?" Her smile grows wider at my questions.

"AAHHH yes. I remember it like it was yesterday."

"Shut up and tell me what happened!!"

"Geez! Fine mister grumpy! I think this calls for a FLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASH BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!"

"A flash back?"

"Yes, a FLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASH BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!"

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Class just started, and Tsukiko (or Tsuyo) walked in with Arron and Santos (or Amy and Sandy). "Come on, Kid!!" She…He…It said turning to the door.

"NO WAY!! I'M NOT DOING IT!!!"

"OH YES YOU ARE!!" Tsuki...er...Tsuyo sated snapping her…his…whatever fingers and the twins came and drag me into the class. As expected, everyone's jaw dropped at me appearance. I was wearing a sleeveless black shirt that stopped right below my chest; a sleeveless fishnet shirt under that; jean short shorts; and black boots up to the knee. On both my wrists were eight golden bangles. I feel ridiculous! Tsukiko brings out a boom box and starts dancing to the song 'Pop, lock it, Drop it', (if that counts as music) and looks at me as though to tell me to join in. The twins were performing this sad, sorry excuse of a dance routine as well. I sigh desperately. She obviously won't give up unless I join. Finally… I give in.

We finish our incredibly seductive and completely embarrassing dance. (If that even counts as dancing.) All eyes are on us. This is so stupid. The dance wasn't even symmetrical. Why did I let her talk me into this? But wait…Black Star…he stood up, and is makes his way down to where we stand in the front of the class room. I looked at Tsukiko. She had a glitter in her eye as though she knows something good is about to happen. He comes up and looks me in the eye. However I had doubts that stern look on his dace signified anything good.

"What do you think you're doing, Kid!?" He asked sternly. "Not only did you steal my spot light, you made a fool of yourself while doing!" I felt my face burn into a deep red. "But….I didn't…it wasn't…It-"

"-Was completely my idea." Tsukiko sated, cutting off my stuttering lack of words. "I thought it would be fun, and maybe get someone to ask him out. He SERIOUSLY needs a date." G-D DAMN IT TSUKIKO!!

"Well I know I wouldn't…that would be REALLY weird for our friend ship" Black Star had announced.

Wait…did he just reject me….I think he did…my vision blurs…my eyes grow damp….The bell rings…and I bolted out as fast as I could. "KID!!! WAIT!!!" I heard Tsukiko shout. "HEY KID HOLD UP!!" Arron and Santos called. But there was no way I'd look back….I'd never look back at what just happened.

Hours passed before Tsukiko managed to bring herself to knock on the door to my room. "What do you want?" I called through tears that just wouldn't stop falling. She peeked through my door with gilt in her eyes, and after about a minute of making she it wouldn't through a night stand at her for walking into my room after what she caused, made her way in. "Kid," she spoke tenderly, "I'm so sorry…that was all my fault." I know it was….it was hard for me to resist saying that…but I kept quiet. "I should have thought this through more. I should have thought about it through someone else's head rather than my own…geez this is almost as bad as the time I got caught trying to nuke a news paper ware house for talking trash about Osama." True, true and what was that last one? Should I be scared? "Anyway," she continued, "I think I have a way to make it up to you." I looked at her with a questioning face, but still I said nothing. "I'm gonna take you to the place I always go when I feel down and wanna think about something else and get my mind of my troubles. So through on your jacket and shoes and lets go. I promise you'll have fun." I didn't have much choice in the matter since she threw my jacket and shoes at me and dragged me out the door with the twins not too far behind.

I should have known better then to expect something normal from Tsukiko. I should have known better then to think we'd be walking in the park or going to an amusement park or the movies. I turned to her with disapproval. "Tsukiko," I ask after being dead silent the whole way there, "why are we at a bar!?" She turns to be and grins happily "ALCHOHOL SOLVES EVERY PROBLEM!!" She states as the twins nod in agreement. I turn to walk home, but she grabs me before I can. "NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! YOU'RE COMIN' IN AND HAVING A GOOD TIME NO MATTER WHAT!!! YOU ARE GONNA HAVE SOME DRINKS AND ENJOY YOURSELF!!! YOU GOT THAT!!!" She shouted as she dragged me into the bar and Arron and Santos followed gleefully. I had no clue how bad it would get after that.

* * *

"So yeah…after that I managed to get you to chug down a few beers….and then you chugged down some vodka and some wine and some liquor and you were dancing nonstop and still drinking your liquor and you won a drinking contest and made out with some random chick and past out." Tsukiko cheerfully explained. I jumped up from the bed at her explanation. "YOU GOT ME DRUNK!!??" OW!! To fast!! I got up WAAAAAAAAAY to fast. I fall back down on the bed grabbing my head again. "Yeah…."she says sheepishly, "but you had fun!! And didn't it help get you know who off your mind?" She asks as though it was a good thing I got drunk off my ass. I glare at her intensely causing her to flinch back for a minute. I can't keep the face on though…she brought up the thing I didn't want to think about, the person I wanted to forget about. I glare cools to a depressed look, and her scared face eases into a guilty one.

She looks at me with a sad smile. "Hey! Let's look at the bright side!" She says. I refuse to look her in the eye and instead sink my face into my pillow. "What bright side? How is there a bright side to this?" I ask somewhat annoyed. "Well," She begins, "He didn't necessarily _reject_ you…he just said it would be weird for your friendship." I look at her confused. Where was she going with this? She smiles at me cheerfully. "That could mean anything!" She continues. "In fact…it could even means that he likes you, but doesn't want to ask you out 'cuase if you reject him things would get weird between the two of you." I think about her words. She's actually right. There is a small chance that that's what he meant. I sit up and look over at her. "Tsukiko," I reply "let's imagine you're right, and that _is_ what he meant by his words. What would I have to do in order to get him to try?" She smiles at me knowing that I basically admitted she was right. "Well," she responded, "that means that the so called great Black star is shy and doesn't want to ask you out because he's scared of rejection." I look at her intently. It's amazing that someone so insane could know so much about relationships. "That means that you gotta be the one with the courage and ask him out."

I get a little scared, and look down at my feet. My head ach is easing away slow by know, but a feel a bit of pink sneaking onto my face. "But…" I begin, "What if…what if he doesn't…you know…" She smiles sympathetically and lifts my head so I'm looking her in the eye. "That's a chance you have to take, Kid." She states sweetly. "Sometimes you have to endure the pain to get the reward you're looking for." I look at her know with an annoyed look. "What actor said that?" I ask her, "What movie's that one from?" She laughs a little and looks at me again. "Tsukiko Miyuki from 'Get Your Ass out Of Bed and down Stairs So You Can Make Me Some Breakfast and Stop Moping About'" She answers pulling me out of bed and downstairs.

It's amazing how this crazy girl his my age can act like the mother I never had. (And at times never wanted.) She right though. I'm gonna have to live with the result of this no matter what it is. That settles it. Next time I see Black star I've gotta build up the courage to ask him out. Wait….this just dawned on me…TSUKIKO GOT MY F-CKING DRUNK!? She's so dead the second I get the opportunity!


	6. This is the last chapter! ?

Disclaimer: I _**DO NOT!**_ Own Soul Eater…'cuase if I did…trust me…you don't WANT to know what would happen TwT

This is not the last chappy...but it s important info about when i will update...so ehy not stick arond and read it, kay?

* * *

Tsukiko: HEY GUYS! COME HER! I GOT A LETTER FROM THE AUTHOR!

(Everyone gathers around)

Tsukiko: It says "Attention Tsukiko and Soul Eater fuck ups.-"

Black Star: The great me is NOT a fuck up! I shall teach her!

Tsukiko: bad idea…

Death the Kid: Don't do it.

Black Star: And why not! She can do nothing to me for I am the one who surpassed g-d!

(Black Star gets hit with a torpedo that came out of nowhere)

Tsukiko: "I will start this letter by saying that anyone who back sasses what it says shall be hit with my torpedo shooting cannon."

Black Star: Thanks or the heads up…now the great me shall take a great nap –falls over-

Tsukiko: Moron T.T"…anyway… "It seems that I can't think of a good way to end this fan fiction. As you know, the next chapter is the last. Death the Kid is supposed to confess his feeling for the great brainless one in an amazing, dramatic, heart breaking way. Afterwards they live happily ever after. However, I cannot come up with a proper way to make this happen. If I don't end this fiction in an amazing way, then no one will bother to read the sequel, 'I Have a Situation.' This may mean nothing to you since you, Tsukiko, seeing as you are not part of this fan fiction." DAMN! I forgot that my stupid twin brother is replacing me.

Death the Kid: oh yea, Teruki. He's the author's co-host for t or d. technically he's her brother too since she uses you to represent her in all of her role playing games, right.

Tsukiko: That's right, but I'm not her. It's complicated. But anyway, it doesn't matter. Teruki will be just as fun as me, if not better. He's just as crazy and brainless…but 10 times as pervy. T.T"…now… "However, even if you don't care you must still do as I say since I am the one who created you and I am the one with the deadly torpedo shoot cannon."

Kid: She's got you there; Black Star learned that the hard way. –Looks at black star who still lies unmoving on the floor-

Tsukiko: oh what ever… "What I want you to do for me is to get people's opinions on what I should do. Violence can and will be used if necessary, and only if necessary…or if there's some asshole you REALLY need to kill. This is doing me a big favor since I currently have to rush Teruki to the hospital since he's sick…again…and come up with new torture methods for the t or d. Thank you so much.

Your creator: Jessi Miyukari

P.S.

The reason I didn't mention Arron or Santos was because their probably not even paying attention to this and making out with each other off in retard land somewhere."

Well…they aren't making out…but they're making something…kept me up all fuckin' night and they're still at it. T.T"

Kid: So basically, she can't think of anything and wants us to ask the readers for advice…

Tsukiko: pretty much

Kid: wow, she's useless –gets hit with a torpedo and passes out-

Tsukiko: wow…you didn't learn anything from Black Star, did you? T.T" whatever…-turns attention towards camera- was…was that thing on the whole time? Oh well saves me trouble…YO! You heard her…she can't think of anything and wants your ideas…so live an idea in a review or message to her, and she'll pick the one she likes best after…probably a little over a month knowing her. T.T" Queen of procrastination and forgetting things. –Torpedo nearly hits her- in a good way! o.o' But seriously…if you wanna see what "I Have a Situation" is all about, then leave an idea on how to end "I Have a Problem" and give Jessi a hand. –Mumbles: but seriously, the dumb bitch can't do anything herself- -hears something flying towards her from the behind- oh shit, HIT THE DECK! –ducks quickly and torpedo flies past her hitting the camera…screen gets fuzzy then shuts down-


	7. It's Finally The End For Real! ?

Disclaimer: SUCK BALLS! I DON'T HAVE TO DO YOUR DAMN DISCLAIMER!

Arron: Jessi-Chan does not own soul eater

Santos: Or any of the movies and other thing s she quotes in this fan fiction

both: And Never Will!

Me: you two suck!

A/N: WELL! AFTER YEARS OF STRAINING MY BRAIN I'VE DONE IT! PLEASE NOTE THAT ANY REFRENCES IN THIS STORY ARE PURELY FOR COMEDY AND I DON'T NEED THE F.B.I AT MY DOOR FOR MAKING JOKES! THANK YOU AND oh…meet…Teruki…Teruki?

Te: I'M UP HERE!

Me: Why are you in the vents! O.o

Te: I…don't…know…O.o

Me: right. T.T"

* * *

This is it. The day has come. I walk to school with Liz and Patti as _Tsuyo_ and his girls follow not too far behind. I've decided to take the in direct approach and slip a note into his locker, of which is now tightly gripped in the palm of my hand. As I turn and look in Tsukiko's direction she smiles and mouths the words "go for it" with a thumbs up. I turn around and face forward as my father's amazing, symmetrical school comes into view. All the other students are joyful conversing. Some are even having practice fights and sparing seemingly to the death.

Finally as the school grows closer I see the person I've been watching from a far for way too long. With his spiky, blue hair shining and big, goofy smile flashing he converses with his shy and adorable weapon of choice, Tsubaki. I turn to Tsukiko again and she nods me to keep walking and head for the lockers.

We pass the blue moron who's stolen my heart, and head into the humongous school. I turn to look at him one last time and feel my heart sink into my stomach. There, right before my eyes, was BlackStar getting gingerly pecked on the cheek by Tsubaki. He doesn't attempt to push her off, and instead smiles and begins to make his way inside with the big breasted weapon.

As he passes us he smiles and waves with only a "Hey Kid!" leaving his mouth in greeting. Tsukiko walks over and placing a hand on my shoulder with a confused look in her eye.

"Um…that could still mean anything." She tells me. "I mean, uh, it could be that they're just really close like siblings or-"

"She kissed him…" I cut her off not really able to make out what she's saying because I'm too busy assuming the worst. "She kissed him and he didn't even try to stop it."

Liz and Patti seem to just be realizing what's been happening this whole time as they look at each other and then back to me. Liz opens her mouth to say something but before she could a crumply the useless note I wrote and run as fast as humanly possible out of there. I'm not too sure where I'm going, but I need to go somewhere to clear my thoughts. The last thing I here is Tsukiko shouting for me to come back, but I don't dare to turn around. The only thing rushing in and out of my head is the thought that I'm too late.

* * *

WE INTURUPT THIS FAN FIC FOR A WORD FROM OUR SPONSER!

* * *

Me: MOSHI MOSHI! MINNA! It's me, Jessi Miyukari! Has this ever happened to you?

Te: HEY LOOK! THAT STRANGE AND SCARY MAN IS GIVING OUT CANDY!

Ts: NO TERUKI! DON'T TAKE THE CANDY!

Te: -takes candy and passes out, then gets dragged away by stranger-

Me: Well now you'll never have to worry about your stupid friends or relatives again with "Grow a Brain!" –Points to what looks like an electric chair- Here's how it works!

You take the ideot you want to grow a brain and have him or her sit in the "Grow a Brain Chair." – Pushes Teruki into the chair- Then strap him or her in –takes the chains that are attached to chair and ties them tightly around his legs and arms- and attach the "Grow a Brain Helmet" to their head. –straps a helmet with a cord coming out of it to Teruki's head- Now take a picture of the thing that you're ideot needs to grow a brain about. –holds up a life sized manikin of a strange man with candy- and every time he does something stupid, push this red button on the remote and-

Te: -GASP- CANDY!

Me: -presses button and Teruki gets electrocuted- 500 jolts of electricity will immediately be sent through his nervous system! :D

Ts: "Grow a Brain" is amazing, after only 23 times of me pushing this button, Teruki finally knows not to trust strange men in trench coats.

Te: OMG! THE MAN HAS CANDY! RUN! –Runs out of the candy store-

Me: "Grow a Brain" can help your ideot learn anything from 2 +2 to Shakespeare! So what are you waiting for! Get "Grow a Brain" Today, and teach your ideot a lesson in consequences!

* * *

WE NOW RETURN YOU TO YOUR FAN FIC PLEASE ENJOY!

* * *

Tsukiko's POV

I grab the note that Kid had through on the floor so miserably. I don't understand what just happened at all! I could have sworn that blue haired knuckle head liked my hopeless dope of a childhood friend. I was almost a sure about it as the fact that I'm most likely going to jail when the cops find my secret cult to destroy and annihilate Sarah Palin! That bitch won't be able to see Alaska from her house for long! But Seriously! What the hell's going on!

"Arron, Santos! Go find Kid and make sure his okay! Liz and Patti, I'm the one that started this so you 2 have nothing to worry about. I'm going to fix this so just go to class okay?" I demand.

"But Kid's our friend too, we want to help!" Liz complains. But I shake my head and give her a look that tells to do what I say or else. She takes the hint and drags Patti who still seems to be clueless to the classroom. The twins head out to find our lost cuase and I go out and officially declare it, lame brain season.

When I finally find the blue haired so called assassin sitting at one of the lunch tables with the big boobed wonder, the flattest of the flat nerds and Mr. Coolness McDorkballs I'm still not too sure on what to say, but I decide to do the smart thing and copy my favorite quotes!

**"Well, here's another nice mess you've gotten me into!"** I state as I walk up to his table and stare down at him with a not too pleased look on my face.

"Oh hi, uh, Tsuyo right! What's up?" He asks me kindly and I grab him by the wrist and drag him away from the group. "Hey, what's going on here!" He shouts.

I stop under a large tree and turn to look him in the eye. **"You'll have to forgive me, comrade."** I quote.

"Um, what's going on here?" He asks me.

**"Elementary, my dear Watson."**

"Um, what's a Watson?"

**"You're a disgrace to our family name of Wagstaff, if such a thing is possible. What's all this talk I hear about you fooling around with the college widow?"** I quote again pointing to Tsubaki.

"What are you talking about! My last name's not Wagstaff, I'm pretty sure I'm not related to you and Tsubaki's not a spider in college! And what's all this about fooling around! I'm not with her or anything!"

**"YOU LIE! YOU LIE!"**

"NO! I DON'T LIE! I'M NOT DATING TSUBAKI!"

**"I'd horsewhip you, if I had a horse."**

"WHY! I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!"

**"When you're slapped, you'll take it and like it!" **As you can guess I'm slapping him by this point.

"OW! STOP! WHAT DID I DO! ARE YOU INSANE!"

**"Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops."**

"Can you just explain what the hell is happening here!"

**"JINKIES! A CLUE!"** I shout in his face as I shove Kid's note into it. He read's it over and finally realizes what I'm trying to say.

"Woah, woah, woah, Kid likes me!"

I nod, pleased that he finally gets it.

"But, he thinks I'm dating Tsubaki."

I nod again.

"And I'm guessing that's because he saw her kissing my cheek this morning."

**"Meoth, that's right!"**

"But, that was just because she was thanking me for paying the dinner bill last night for the first time. We live together and she always has to pay when we get take out."

**"EEK GAD!"**

**"I should go straighten things out, shouldn't I?"**

**"You got it dude!"**

"Right! I'll go find Kid!" And with that he ran off to search for my OCD friend. Oh quotes, you never let me down!

* * *

Kid's POV

I sit in Death's Park under a large oak tree contemplating what could have happened. I know there are plenty of things that a kiss on the cheek could have meant, but it still felt so…wrong seeing that; like seeing a fun house. Those things are so asymmetrical I nearly die in them. As I watch the sun set through my blurred vision and start to do dream about what could have been and before I know it day dreams become real dreams flouting around in my head.

_He hugs my gently and whispers my name. It sounds like perfect symmetry the way he says it. I know he's not symmetrical, but I don't care anymore. His strong arms embrace me and he says sweet nothings in my ear. I know it's a dream, but is it wrong to want more of it? This sweet, sweet world of make believe, I wish it were reality. He starts kissing gingerly at my face. Then finally he leans in and plants the perfect kiss from his soft lips on mine…when suddenly…it's not a dream._

I open my eyes to see the impossible. So impossible I think I'm still dreaming. Black Star; The blue haired dope; the dim brained assassin who stole my heart was truly, actually kissing me. He pulls away and looks down at me with a big, goofy grin.

"Well, looks like I've awaken sleeping beauty." He jokes.

"But…you….why?" I stutter in reply.

He smiles widely at me and takes a deep breath, preparing to explain.

"I know you think Tsubaki and I are dating, but we're not. We live together and she always has to pay when we get take out, but I paid last time. That's why she kissed my cheek. It was a thank you between friends, not a sign of affection. There's no need to get jealous of her because there's nothing between me and her. Okay?" He stated all in one breathe and pants for air afterwards.

I stare at him blindly, at a loss for words. He wasn't dating her. I should have known. How could I have been so dense? However that still doesn't explain…

"Why did you kiss me?" I wonder out loud, and he laughs with intense humor.

"Hey Kid, didn't you know?" He laughs, "Every G-d needs a queen by their side!" He announces and winks at me with a fun loving grin.

His queen? Me? Something about the way he said that makes me want to completely ignore the fact that he just referred to me as a female royal. It didn't help when he placed his lips on mine again, causing my legs to become jelly and my face to become a red hot sun. I press harder on his lips and kiss back, my eyes closing in passion as I feel his tongue dance across my lips for entrance. I let him in and we explore each other's domains in excited curiosity. Then…right at the hottest point of passion….

"Well, my oh my! Don't go forgetting a condom you two!"

"Tsukiko!" I shout when the kiss breaks, "What are you doing in that tree!"

"Watching the show, want some popcorn?"

"NO I DON'T WANT ANY FUCKING POPCORN!"

"Oh! Popcorn sounds really good!" Black Star states.

"BLACK STAR!" I complain.

"Here, have some." Tsukiko offers Black Star, which he happily complies.

"TSUKIKO!" I shout.

"What!" She shouts back.

I raise a brow at her in silence not believing that I ACTUALLY have to explain this to her.

"Hey," Black Star breaks the silence. "I just realized something…Kid, if you like me…why didn't you just ask me out straight up?"

…Did he really just say that? This refers all the way back to the beginning when Tsukiko told me, and I quote, "You have to ask him out." She said that was the only solution.

"Well, uh Black Star…I was…sort of…afraid you'd reject me and things would get awkward." I respond.

"Really! That's how I've felt for a while. Sure feels good to get this off my chest!" He comments.

I see Tsukiko give me a "HA! I SO TOLD YOU SO! I WAS RIGHT FROM THE START!" Look. But you know what? I strangely don't care. Everything that has haunted me for the past few months, all that weight has been lifted from my shoulders. And as Black Star takes my hand in his and offers to walk me home, I know we'll always be meant to be.

* * *

Tsukiko's POV

As I watch the two of them leave for home I can't help but feel proud. My little Kid's all grown up! Arron and Santos appear from behind the trees with our things packed in suitcases.

"The good-bye note you right is on the coffee table placed so that it make the room asymmetrical just as you said Tsuki-Chan" Arron reports.

"And we completely screwed up the rooms we stayed in just as you ask." Santos follows.

"Good," I say, sighing in exasperation, "well, that was a fun visit, but all good things must come to an end. Come on boys. Let's go home."

And with that we leave for my mansion in the forest. I wonder if Teruki was alright alone with Haru. More importantly I wonder if Haru's alright what with my brother's unbreakable habit of surprise sexing his weapon. I don't care as long as they're not on my bed. As we approach the entrance to the forest I turn back and let the twins go ahead as I take one last look at the city my dear friend now happily lives in with his new boyfriend.

"And they lived happily ever after. The End."

And with that, I head home with the faint sound of Kid seeing our bedrooms in the distance.

"TSU~KI~KO!~"

Music to my ears. ;D

* * *

So that's it. I finally finished it. Hopefully I'll be able to start the sequel over spring break. But considering I'm failing 2 classes right now, not likely. Props to anyone who can guess where all the quotes came from. I dont even rember where most of them caim from. They're each from a different sorce. xD. Hope you enjoyed. It was a pain in the brain to come up with. But it feels so good to type Tsukiko's last famous quote that I think I'll do it again

And they lived happily ever after! THE END!


	8. There's An Eighth Chapter! ?

**_RANDOM PAGE!_**

**_Because a fan said there must be eight chapters in a kid/star fan fiction for Kid I have added a random page…enjoy! :D_**

(\_/)

(O.o)

(,,) (,,)

(")_(")

**_FUNNEH BUNNEH! :D_**


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